Long time no see everyone!

I have been rather happy last few months! For no particular reason! but I like my current life now! The pharmacy is still a busy madhouse, and I have rude patients every now and then (including drug abusers) but I am still happy. Maybe everyday I still have many nice patients and am thankful we establish a friendship within the last few months! And I got a good rest every weekend and I am grateful for that.

I fell in love w manicure recently. It has been my hobby few years back but I gave up thanks to lab work in school. well actually i also cannot apply during work but i cant be bothered. :) And Ilove signing up groupons for manicure!

I am so looking forward to 2012! Going to Japan for a long holiday and Hanoi for a short one! And all going to take place in the first half year! Happy!! :D

And year end bonus is coming!!!

one of my dear colleague's mother passed away recently suddenly, and she refused to say the reason. she wasnt someone really close, but i really tot i was lucky to meet someone like her at work. she has a heart for patients and students, was a good farmer and teacher.

it was so sad to see her crying non stop at the wake. for she is someone who is normally so cheerful. even once when she was shouted at by one male patient, she didnt even drop a tear. and the male patient alr made someone cried earlier one. so it was really upsetting to see her cry everytime each visitor comes. and her eyes were so swollen.

i cant help her much except to hope she gets up again and be strong, for she still has a long way to go. meanwhile, i am really afraid that i might lose my loved ones anytime too. dun u tink this is so scary? the thoughts of how my uncle passed away suddenly last year came back, and i cant help but feel life is really fragile.

working has been so tiring recently i am thinking of a change again. it is seriously a manpower shortage over here, why are we not doing anything!! Rush rush rush from monday to friday! I dun like such hectic working life. :(

Locum at AnE is good. Money is good! Am happy working there. I want to earn enough money so that I can faster clear my uni fees then think of my next step in life.

my first official leave day as a pharmacist today. chill chill chill. =)

so i was really busy last week cause my friend from US came for a visit. it was a good thing cause to everyone of us, it was a chance to get together again. I get to see the guy classmates, and of cos my sec school eye candy. He looked the same, and it was amusing when he told me his younger sister is in my course. Gosh, I cannot imagine if she turns out to be my student next time. Thanks Cat for coming back, and I hope she do well in her phd in harvard. Gosh this seems like an impossible path in my life. :(

and happy birthday lab partner! (:

every now and then, the tot of leaving and starting anew comes in. and i got disturbed. below are some reasons:

1) i cnt stand the working hours. i am becoming more n more anti-social cause i am so tired and everyday i feel so weary after work. maybe i worked too hard, but i prefer to give 100% at work cause i am dealing with people's lives. because i am so tired, i am abit sick of gg out. esp if its consecutive days.

2) i am getting sick and i am sick of not able to get mc. as in u know u can still function, but not at the best. so whats the point of gg to work? its so dangerous

3) i seriously think my work is hell-like. enough said.

4) i am so careless. ever since that error i committed, i live in the fear everyday i did sth wrong. everytime someone called my name, i have this fear. u know errors are sometimes inevitable, but we cant use this reason in my job. cause someone will get hurt if i made an error.

but i really enjoy my job because i get to make alot of meaningful interventions and counselling. even if nth was made, i made meanings to the use of the medications. i never forget my patients, and i always look forward to seeing them. not tat i am cursing them, but they are on long term meds, and i hope to see them coping well.

so do u think i should leave?

do you remember what u used to say last time?

we got a party coming up to welcome the new pre-regs and to celebrate alot of random stuff, and guess wad! I(and my fellow ex-pre regs) have to organise! Well, even though i am not the head of the organising team, i am sick of gg for meetings and coming home to do slides for the party! >.<

And i got one extra work to do now - ward check. duper unhappy. =(

i was so tired on friday that i immediately went to arrange a massage session the next day - saturday! thank god i am silly enough to waste that money, cause i think it was well-spent! Now, am thinking of the package ... hmmm.

And do u think i should go for the facials too? >.< i am so stressed over the waiting time at my workplace i got acne outbreak. gosh i dun even have that during viva. or should i go see a skin doc in the workplace cause i got staff benefits anyway?

i keep telling myself i shouldnt worry as much cause i am only getting that small amt of pay, but i cant help feeling irritated when people are not working as hard or slacking during work. just kill me.

the nice boss is leaving. we had a dinner last friday tgt, with the rest. i could see he was very tired. take good care of urself!

I haven been feeling good recently, cause I am very tired. acute fatigue syndrome i guess. woke up with a very bad sore throat the day before, and had been sneezing non stop and had a massive headache this weekend.

sometimes i wonder am i jus lazy, or this job is too mentally challenging for me? trust me, outpatient is not as easy as what the outside world thinks. i gave myself this challenge few mths ago, and true enough, i am struggling.

i am concerned abt the waiting time, i know what this all means. i want to do well too, but it doesnt feel nice sometimes when i feel i am the only one fighting for it. what does teamwork means?

i think i am evil. recently, i have been rather inpatient with some of the newbies packers. come on, i really think we need to be initiative! i am such a horrible person right.

i signed up for a volunteer programme. hopefully they find my minimum knowledge useful hehe. =) need to do some good karma to balance off the bad stuff i do(to those newbies) and my occasionally rude behavior at some csc and foreigners neh neh patients!

I wasnt feeling very well in the whole of last week. Think I didnt had enough rest since my bdae and then the monthly thing came .. so it became sth like chronic plus acute fatigue. but i didnt take mc!!! Hehe really pray I didnt have any errors done these few days.

i am happy with what i have now. so thankful that i wont ask for more. one step at a time. =)

Emo is contagious!

so stay away from me.

I hate admin work. how come open one shop must do this do that. mus clear no show, must print this print that .. yet i still get the same pay. still need to see waiting time. Grr am upset, plus i got no bonus.

I haven been having a good time at work as I am not used to people not giving in to me OR scolding me for no reasons. There are some things I am not happy, but I guess this is working. Too bad my boss is not my parents hahha. This is part of learning, and I see myself growing up to be a better person who knows how to understand people. I see my clinical knowledge going down (sadly), but I guess I dun regret my choice. But maybe one day when I see a good opportunity comes along ... but well.

But thank god for this job that I am able to chill n nwa every weekend like how I once dream to have, and buy the stuff I want to get. But then, I am not rich hahha.

And pre-reg is so good. First, you get to see your friends. Second, there is a reason for u to read up. Seriously, now I am too lazy to even find my BNF. And I think this is really unhealthy. I seriously miss pre-reg. and at least things will more innocent then. :(

Oh ya, recently got a special gift! IPAD 2!!! yay finally i am faster than pp in getting such high tech stuff. It took me n my sister some time (2 weeks?) to realise it is ipad 2 and not ipad! HOHOHO KUKU! >< So life now is playing angry birds n fishing after work. still dun have data plan, so can only surf net at home.

But, I wonder why everyone is getting ipad. it is sth cool, but i wont die without it. but it is so expensive, i may die buying it.

i have friends who are gg US in the next few mths, i am very worried for them. I am very worried abt terrorist. even though i am quite excited cause u can help me get my dream kate spade bag, i am still worried. so my friends who are gg there, pls be safe.

i made a promise to myself to whine lesser this year cause i should be more mature, and i do find whining very childish. but just for tonight, i just wanna whine.

To my farm friends, rx means Prescriptions. But to me, rx has a special meaning hahah cause my friend is called rx too!

This post is specially dedicated to rx. Happy birthday!! :) One day late but never too late. :)

Please pray that I have a smooth week ahead.

i cant believe wad happened today omg!

today sth really bad happened in the farm, and i felt rather gulity cause i am the last one in contact. :( But I think this incident brought everyone closer.

I will pray hard tonight for you.

today i went to a far far away place ... choa chu kang! Argh really really far. but quite cool to see the turf club!

i dun know how many of my friends still read this blog .. but i was recently on CNA for 3.5 seconds! I attended my farm pledge ceremony and somehow i was on tv. not that i was the best few, but because of my surname which starts with a B, i was at the first row LOL. Dun dare to put on fb cause it is still AA, but i think u guys should see it!

one day i aim to be that lady which appeared from the start. >.<

link: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/video/index.php?vidfile=110526_sg_pharmacists.flv. catch it before it gets removed down! ^^

there is a part of me wanting very badly to go for a holiday .. and it doesnt help when i know i have some spare cash left (not alot, just that this small sum of spare cash appears after i got registered and i got a pay rise! Awww!)

My friend jus came back from holiday, I have friends who are gg for holidays soon, I have friends who want to go holiday with me! Not alot for the last group though, luckily. ^^ So you see how hard is it to stop thinking abt holidays!!

I still dun think I am very rich now. I think that one will always remains a dream (yes, I want to be very rich and count my money everyday) I do get to count thousands of money everyday NOW but thats because I am working as a cashier at my pharmacy for my private patients. I love the smell of money!!! But of cos it isn't nice when I have discrepancy in the accounts. =( well maybe it is destined I can only count Tens of money.

A short getaway is good. To make me think what I really want. What I really feel n think. I seem to forget why I choose to go OP now, and sometimes I do feel disturbed. But I realised I should give myself some time to settle down. =)

Okay I got a new goal next month. I am not gg to take any cabs next month! ^^

In the last 1 month, my parents caught (but found by me) 3 cockroaches in my bedroom! This is really scary cause where do all these creatures come from? Now I am really scared and I dun dare to sleep on my own bed sometimes. Sometimes ... I even dreamt of them .. and I always have thoughts they are crawling on my bed ....

Should I call for a pest control man to come my room? Wonders if they take in such business ...

Love weekends nowadays! I am glad I finally have the opportunity to nwa during weekends like my other friends. Though it is short, but sometimes we know it cant be too long otherwise we forget how to go back to work!

Having this group of preceptorship n poly students in the pharmacy now. I finally understand how the preceptors feel. Those dispensing errors ... Well as much as I catched many of them, I am really worried I miss out some and patients end up suffering. but on the other hand, I just went through what these students are gg through now and I really hope to let them achieve what I once hope to achieve too. And its really inspiring to see them working so hard. ^^

Pss sessions are good for 1 thing. They are one reason to catch up with friends and to know everyone is still alive. Nowadays, I seldom see everyone .... :( even in my own hospital, it is hard to meetup too.

Sometimes I have problems dealing with things at work, but I think this is part of growing up n doing BIG things hur. Learning, still learning ... these admin skills, these PR skills. You know recently I need to do cashiering ... Well as lame it may sound, it is really not an easy job. esp to count money at the end of the day ... reminds me of my piggy bank. But I am glad I did it.

I am glad to have this buffer period now before I go on to the next stage of life.

bad news ... gf in hospital again. and sister is in bkk.

why did things progress till like that? :(