its really hard to have a balance btw work and fun. ended work at 630pm and i had to rush down to meet friends for dinner. was so tired but had to attend cause it was a farewell dinner. and when i am tired, i dun feel like talking and people think i am losing my temper heh! its nearly impossible for me to go out on weekends now cause i want to spend time with family and do my work.

its so hard to catch up with work too. everyday i have so much questions which i never get a good satisfactory for many. miss those days with those excellent notes. and i dun have the luxury to go back to refer sometimes, keep forgetting what i jus learnt. :(((

change of schedule for rotations. i really hope everything will turn out fine. as much as i want to make full use of the hospital, i do hope my presence does help in the whole workflow in the hospital. thats why i will be trying my best to accept the changes which arent very nice actually. let the positive mood stays on!! ~

lesson learnt: do not take that yellow tablet at 530am when i only have one hour of sleep. another bad nose night, i was hesitating whether to go work. decided to go in the end feeling very giddy, then ended up with bad mood with everyone cause was doing boring stuff. due to the lack of sleep, got fever and bad headache, decided to eat panadol again at 11am(6 hours from 530am). then went down to R1, realised i made D angry, felt bad and horrible, then decided to do SAP to escape Haha! i think i am quite annoying too so i decided to make myself disappear!

things were better in the afternoon. i am so thankful for S as she helped me identify so many of my dumb mistakes. otherwise my name will be called so many times! today is just not my day, i am really not feeling well. but somehow, i got better after work and went holland vill for dinner! I even had grilled chicken and ice cream! amazing healing! anyway, happy birthday to O! :D

i got this abrasion on my leg which i dun know what i did last night to myself to get it. and its so painful. :(((

dearest ah lao in spore. not going to meet him this time, too busy and too poor. 9 mths later, i will fly to other countries to meet him!

i hate it most when things dun go according t my plans. i dun understand why we had to repeat checking that damn thing once every few days, I saw my name signed there few days ago! :( It is so waste of time, and I seriously think sth should/can be done. There are so many instructions left unsaid, unconfirmed. I hate the sudden changes of plans, cause i had to change my goals/timetable.

I am trying my best to control my temper at work cause am a nobody. Am just a substitute or whatever you call it. And nobody understands, I cant keep whining cause people think am childish. So upsetting. :(

the best thing that happened today was having icecream after lunch from 7-eleven. emo pig.

rest day today! nothing beats having a great dinner at home with family and waiting for the 7pm show. And my dear friend today commented that i walk damn fast, must be due to work (those never-ending SAPs!)!

i am kinda not looking forward to work tmr. there's nth to look forward anymore. :X

did sunday duty today! overslept and had to take a cab down. 20 dollars gone! :(

had to run around the whole hospital to get drugs for all the patients. i am quite okay with this, though its really tiring and i am so lazy, cause it is all for our patients heh. And everyone present today are really nice, nobody was rushing me and there was this nice PT who was telling me where things are. went to get items, open/close pharmacy, switch off/on the alarm and everything else. Wasnt taught all these before at all, had to master all myself. Stay calm ALONE and try to figure things out. Its quite scary cause I tot I may sound the alarm and police will come, but luckily things went well. i kinda like these times cause it made me independent and realised I am actually able to do this myself. :)

but i am falling sick now. having a fever/headache/runny nose now, actually i have been having intermitent fever all these while and its quite worrying cause sometimes i realised i forgot to eat panadol thats why I got fever! I am on panadol dependence now! I think there are just too many virus around and I should just wear mask at work everyday. All my dear colleagues are taking turns to take mc too, soon it will be my turn. :p

tmr is my off day. i am thinking whether to cancel my outing to rest at home or to go out and get nice clothes to work haha. I am just glad I have this day off and I think my colleagues are glad too cause the trouble-maker is not present tmr.

today felt like a friday, so slack!! As we are gg to get 'audited' soon, we had to go for chemical spill talk in the morning, which i had no interest in cause i went through sth similar during my fyp days. almost dozed off standing up, amazingly tired!

in the afternoon, we went for the fire drill! Woots learnt how to use a fire extinguisher. I seriously doubted the usefulness cause does anyone knows a brand new extinguisher actually is very heavy and one cannot spray with so much force like during the drill lor! and then, we learnt how to use the water hose! Yes, my mother also wondered why I need to be taught how to use the hose! It is just like gardening what!

Saw this damn cool fire evacuation chairr for patients too! To help bring all the patients out in case got fire. But I get lost so easily, better dun help .... -.-

Anyway, it is quite nice to hear that small boss recongnised our efforts to help out in packing during this period when R1 is in chaos. I felt its quite heartening, but I tried my best not to show that out just now Haha! :D

Was told to attend a doctor conference talk on EPGR tmr, cause am doing on that for my project, but I got grad night dinner! What a pity to miss the damn nice atas food at the conference, oh well.

been feeling no matter how hard i try, theres always so much for me to do and improve on. everyday, i realised one flaw of myself. is this what this 9 mths supposed to feel like or am i just not suitable for this job.