Maybe its due to the monthly hormonal thingy .. but i am so tired these few days. i have been sleeping the moment i reached home, immediately after bathing with my hair still wet. i jus lost conciousness like suddenly. Cause nobody is at home, i only woke up till the next morning. 2 days ago, i tried to force myself to stay awake so i ordered mac to eat. at least i got sth to wait and look forward to. guess what, i fell asleep after eating my fillet and my fries were untouched till the next morning! So disgusting right!

I am sad by the fact at how i managed my time so badly. And today, i jus attended a friend's grandfather's wake. I am suddenly so scared again what if my grandfather really leaves me one day.

emo.

so i am well again, but the fatigue continues. as much as i like this job, i hate the way why i must bring so much work home to do everyday. i miss watching tv and having a good night sleep without thinking that i got a whole damn lot of cases to clerk, questions to answer bah blah blah. It feels gulity that ur preceptors are trying so hard to teach you, while you just go back and doze up till next morning every night without doing their work!

the peak hour for me every year has arrived. my student is having her finals soon and i need to squeeze out some time for extra lessons. tell me how!

i may not be a good friend, but i try my best to be a good colleague.

i am so bored from staying at home! Having very bad headache, so cant study. I found the television nosiy too! Cant go out cause am sick plus weather so hot. tell me what to do!

i lost to the bet with my friend on who will be the one to first take mc. had very bad vomiting plus high fever today. at the staff clinic, my temp was actually 37.9 and the doctor wondered how i can still continue dispensing the whole morning! i actually hesitated taking mc the whole morning cause i thought it was hypo cause I thought lunch will make it better. but it was worse ... anyway, am too tired to type anymore so bye.

did some warfarin counselling/smoking cessation today in chinese and saw the patient's bruises due to the clexane injections ...

am going to chairman the emo club. so tired of working liao!

hospital has free breakfast for staff everyday! Hope I can wake up on time tmr to go for the feast!

Woke up at 2am to sneeze last night, was so bad I was in cold sweat .... Cant sleep so woke up to do work at 5am. Thats explain for the tuesday blues today. However, I was quite satisfied when I managed to educate an old man on the correct use of phosphate binders, and the rationale behind. And I made him promise to take it regularly. But well, I took 30 minutes.

Because I am so insecure, I will believe whatever someone tells me. I am not serious as described, but I just want to take precautions. Because I am so afraid of offending my friends and making them angry, like what had happened last time. It's very tiring sometimes cause it turned out to be a joke again.

Oh did I mention we have this montly journal club which I super hate! It is super not useful sometimes when everyone is so tired. The only thing that I like is it reminds me of pay day!

Enough said. I should sleep. Otherwise wednesday blues will come in tmr.

my hobby is to read clinical guidelines. Initially i chose to anyhow go emedicine or any google sites to take info, but i soon realised i cant run away from those clinical guidelines. am glad these info are more easily absorbed now.

did i mention this week is my last inpatient rotation week! after that is independent liao!

every monday, i will get very terrible monday blues. cause i didnt get enough rest in the last weekend and i will get a whole new load of things to do adds on. :(((

had been playing with fire and knew it through the hard way today.

am 20 plus, feels like 80 plus, behaves like 10 plus.

$$$$$$$!!!

I think I am a weird person. When my friends are stressed, i will try my best to stay calm cause i dun want to add to the chaos and will want to help and motivate my friends. When my friends are calm and steady, i will panic cause I will feel we should do this and do that. Many times I make trouble or mistakes, then in the end i ask myself why like that ...

My pre reg project is driving me crazy already ....

Tell me how!

Someone stepped on my shoe today and the damn sweet ribbon on it came off.

Maybe I expect too much from myself and everyone else .... It is really very tiring.

Oh yeah oh yeah! So I woke up at 5 plus today to wash clothes. Blame it on the stupid rain yesterday I need to rewash the clothes! Shouldnt have trust the weather forecast!! Anyway, damn shagged! I hope this dun happens again!

Today is a good day. Got some sponsored nasi lemak to start the day off due to a talk, and got my fav chicken wing! But unfortunately, my fork broke while I was kapping my chicken wing, and it must be damn loud cause my colleague cant stop laughing! After that, we had a nice senior to follow with, she actually said she is studying with us. Dun know to be happy or sad to hear this. -.- I ate fishball soup for lunch cause I was too full and after that, i almost puked due to too much fishballs! Then, got a rather productive afternoon and lastly, grandfather is discharged! Means mother is coming back home soon tooooo! :)

My sister is away at hall and my mother is taking care with my grandfather. The house is really quiet, and it is really very scary to be at home. I am so worried I saw my bf cockroach. I think most prob I will go tampines mall to hide until my father comes home.

I am so tired recently. It must be acute and chronic fatigue. That explains for my slightly weird behavior, everyone telling me that! I really want to sleep early tonight, but I got to iron clothes otherwise I got nth to wear to work soon!

am pissed off. Someone just like to play with my patience.

i am seriously thinking of stopping quiting. Sunday is my only day which I can silent my alarm clock, but now I have to wake up at 9am just to go tuition. And my tuition kid treats me worse than the patients sometimes. -.- Kids nowadays!?!?

Monday is coming. And my headache is coming back again.

Yeah maf celebration later! A season to get hyperlipidemia!

The last few days have been horrible for me and my family cause grandfather was (again) in a critical condition and going in and out of hospital. And finally he was admitted after going into EMD for 3 times. He no longer recognize me anymore for the last few days and was saying stuff that I dun understand. I was so worried I have no mood to work at all! Grrrr.

Luckily, he is feeling better now and I really hope he gets to be free from all these pain soon ...

I dun like working. It made me feel older and I feel I drifted apart from my friends who are still studying, which is rather sad. :(

I am getting very sick of work recently and am glad I got the next few days for a break. This can be reflected by the longer hours of sleep I need nowadays at night. In short, fatigue.

Have a good break too all my dear friends. :)

my patient died in the ward today 10 minutes after i dispensed her medications to her family member. maybe i exaggerated the whole incident, but it was a big blow to me. I was standing in front of her just 10 minutes ago and telling her family how to take the medications properly. She looked in distress, the case notes wrote she was of poor prognosis, but I cant help feeling this is too sudden for me to accept. When the preceptor told me she passed away, it took me a while to register that's actually the patient that I JUST dispensed.

The only thing I can be happy for this patient was ... She dun have to go through the pain and taking the whole long list of medications. And her loved ones were at her side when she passed away.

Recently, my grandfather has been going in and out of SGH A&E like shopping mall, and its very worrying and devastating. I am so worried I might be dispensing halfway one day while my grandfather leaves me. I wanted to call my mother very badly during lunchtime today but i am worried I may cry till cannot work in the afternoon haiz. :(

Working is like sitting on a roller coaster ride today. I am so sick of everything and its really pathetic to know in such a big place with so many people, I feel so lost and alone.

I am going to sleep early tonight so that this emo day ends earlier. goodnight, and I hope tmr will be a better day.

Today was a happy day cause ....

1) The senior farmer we followed this week is very nice and responsible. she volunteered to do the boring med recon. And she is a pretty ang moh with her cool, I cant help looking at her sometimes. but I dun really catch what she said sometimes!

2) Met the old gang for bdae treats! I hope xz likes the card we made! See, I dun write abt work stuff only heh!

3) Today is the last day of the seventh month. No more fears of going work at 645am!

4) I am almost done with the damn long case for my pediatrics rotation! Well done! Not as easy case!

There is this recreational day for the farmers next friday and they are going to play basketball. Given my height and skills at that game, nobody will want me in their team. Can I bring the ball and dun play the game?

I am very amused by my words. Today I told my friend I am going to call DI to ask for the minimum dose for metformin. Brillant. :)

I love my work man! Med recon rocks!

We all know that we must complete the whole course of antibiotics. So one of my dear friends had an eye infection recently and she happily used up the whole antibiotics eye drop solution prescribed for her! Oh my tian I told her the next time she got an eye infection, it would be of an ESBL phenotype!

Bad news to share ...

I left my dearest thumbdrive in the ward! Grrrr, I seriously hope I will find it back. It has my damn chio keychain attached to it. :(

I gained weight again. And I haven lose the weight that I gained from the previous off day. No more off days for me. :(

If you know me deep enough, you will realise I am someone with low EQ.

I drank alcohol last night cause it was celebrating a friend's bdae and I dun want to spoil everyone's mood and order mocha. -.- So today, I ended up with a rather itchy back (thank god I took loratadine at 6am otherwise it would be worse) but it was still rather distracting, my face was slightly redder than normal (like acneiform rash), and the worst thing is ... I feel damn hot inside even though I am in the damn cold farm. It is quite a torture but luckily I was busy dispensing the whole morning, so I kinda got distracted. I tried to drink as much water and drank coffee at 6am, 8am and 2pm to flush the alcohol out lol.

I learnt my lesson. Next time even if its someone's 100th birthday, I am gg to drink mocha only. Haha! :)

I am quite happy friday has actually arrived. The past week has its Highs and lows. Sister had gone to stay at hall already and I felt quite frightened at night in the bedroom alone. There was 2 nights I reached home and the house was empty, and I got abit upset cause I just had a tired day outside and want to see my parents badly.

reached home at 1am yesterday! omt and here I am, waking up at 6am feeling irritated (but not gulity) cause I haven prepare for my renal therapeutics and the farmer we are discussing with today is my preceptor!

Yes tmr am on leave! Cant wait. :)

omt! last night i closed the bedroom door, on the laptop and radio and everything, and somehow i dun know when I dozed off and woke up at 2am in shock! What happened to me? I must be really tired man!