my patient died in the ward today 10 minutes after i dispensed her medications to her family member. maybe i exaggerated the whole incident, but it was a big blow to me. I was standing in front of her just 10 minutes ago and telling her family how to take the medications properly. She looked in distress, the case notes wrote she was of poor prognosis, but I cant help feeling this is too sudden for me to accept. When the preceptor told me she passed away, it took me a while to register that's actually the patient that I JUST dispensed.

The only thing I can be happy for this patient was ... She dun have to go through the pain and taking the whole long list of medications. And her loved ones were at her side when she passed away.

Recently, my grandfather has been going in and out of SGH A&E like shopping mall, and its very worrying and devastating. I am so worried I might be dispensing halfway one day while my grandfather leaves me. I wanted to call my mother very badly during lunchtime today but i am worried I may cry till cannot work in the afternoon haiz. :(

Working is like sitting on a roller coaster ride today. I am so sick of everything and its really pathetic to know in such a big place with so many people, I feel so lost and alone.

I am going to sleep early tonight so that this emo day ends earlier. goodnight, and I hope tmr will be a better day.