I have been sick for the last few days, but I still went to work cause ..... Theres nobody at home anyway, it will be damn sad to be sick in an empty house. And at least when I faint at work, someone will know. o.o Feels really terrible, cause my nose feels blocked or runny at diff times and I lost appetite yet I still feel hungry. And I wore jacket with fans off at night, cause somehow the weather so cold these few nights??? And work hasn't been going smoothly ... IT NEVER RAINS BUT POURS! :(

Looking forward to the new year/christmas celebrations coming up though. Hope I get well soon! Sth good abt work is, I can go internet and thus I can msn and I think I finally got time to look through all the albums on facebook. :D

OH yeah I recevied 2 wedding invitations for march and april. Everyone getting married in 2011! Woosh!

One day,I will ask myself again why you are treating me like that.

I took 3 different antihistamines today and now I am in a super dazed state. ._.

HEY I CARRRY TWO BNFS TODAY UNTIL MY HANDS WANNA BREAK.

TODAY I SOLO DRUG INFO AND I PICKED UP 13 CALLS! WELL DONE!

AND MY HAIR IS SO STRAIGHT UNTIL EVERYONE THINKS ITS WEIRD. WHYYY! :(

Yay I just rebonded my hair! And I like it alot! Spent alot of money!!! But it is my christmas gift for myself yah! All ready for the meetups this week! Hurray!!!

Sat down for 4 hours plus! Now i got to chiong my project as my chief preceptor wants to see my results. Grrrr I hope nothing wrong comes out of it. >.<

Meeting Menpa on thursday. :):):)

Been a long time since I am back again. The last week was crazy, my grandfather went into a critical stage (I shall not talk abt therapeutics here) and I went to sgh from work almost everyday anytime. I only told one friend actually cause I am tired of telling people and this has become more common and serious than ever. Unfortunately, I met my classmate at sgh. >.< And he happened to be PC HAHAH and we were smsing at that time!

I think the best christmas I had is he is getting well soon now though he still needs to be hospitalised. Someone needs to be at the bedside 24hrs and this is really a burden. OOPS. Sometimes I dun know if getting well is a good or bad thing for him.

Otherwise, I am fine. Merry christmas everyday. I sent the wrong christmas mesasage to some friends yesterday, damn embarrassing!

Sigh sigh I am having diarrhea now, clear fluids all the way. Why does it comes back again? Depressed. :(

Okay I got my bonus but I calculated wrongly and was so happy for one moment. But am still happy cause I thought it is only a few hundreds. Oh well, arranged to go shopping spree tmr liao! :)

My colleagues were discussing abt work-life balance today. I worked really like hell for the first 3 months in my Pre-reg and was really burnt out. I feel life is happier now even though i feel my learning pace is slowed down. Maybe I am jaded already, which is very sad. Anyway, I am glad my friends still remember me and meet me up for christmas. :D I am sorry for the various last mintue pangseh-ings and I am also very upset. I am sorry for always being late for dinners, I always think the bus is waiting at the bus stop for me. I am sorry for looking sian diao at gatherings cause I am really tired, and no matter how long I sleep, I am still tired cause my sleep is always disrupted by either cramps or irritating nose. I hope my friends dont sms me only when the hospital got into the headlines and they think I am the one. >.<

i am born to be a pharmacist LOL. :):):):):)

I got scolded again. I get scolded everywhere. But its okay today cause I am still in a good mood. It feels good too to have received a message at the end of the day to say jiayou. Thank you jiawei!:D

I stayed back 3 out of 4 nights this week. And I got to do vaccines tonight. Am shagged. :x

These 2 days ever since the emo attack, I am in a very happy mood. The rotation is good, the place is good, the people there are nice(and one stay in my hometown somemore), and my partner is very nice to me. :):):) Feels that going to work feels lighter too! :D

But I am still not feeling very well. Esp last night, I was sneezing so much I got sore throat this morning. Feels terrible, cause I cant talk. Then, I got diarrhea! +.+ After constipating for 3 days!

Thanks to someone who is so childish, I lost one patient. >___<

Today, we stayed back to practise singing christmas songs! And I turn out to be soprano, anyhow de! Dun laugh LOL! I used to be from choir (Dun laugh again!) in secondary school and once sang carols too hor! I somehow forgot my choir lessons le but it was the best cca to join since I got to know my best friend. :D

Today, i went to visit one patient who have long finished my project interview but she was like a friend to me so I kept in contact with her all this while. She was my first patient i recruited and i am very thankful she was very supportive of my boring project. Ever since she started on cetuximab ( cause that drug cause severe low magnesium levels) she is always admitted for electrolyte imbalances. i was there for her all along with her family members, but at some times she dun want to show her fear to her family so that they wont be worried, and she will tell me abt it. Recently, she went for an op cause of recurrent wound infection. She was in pain and for the first time, she cried in front of me. I was really scared at first cause I am worried people may think I make her cry and her husband wasnt there. I hold her hand and didnt say anything, cause I dun know what to say or do. I had to leave shortly after she stopped crying cause I got to work too.

I am proud to be her support for that few minutes(hopefully). I believe today will be one of the most memorable days of my 9 mths journey.

Okay I shall not emo ya! At least I got bonus coming soon!! Since I really dun know alot of things, I should work harder ya!

I was emo-ing like shit this afternoon I went crazy I only ate half of my rice during lunch cause I was busy wondering why I am so lousy. Still wondering now LOL! So, I was really hungry and just had a damn full dinner! Told my friend I almost went into refeeding syndrome, he said I am very well-nourished in the first place! ARGH!

Tmr got to stay back to have carols lessons for christmas. Tell me something which pre-reg dun need to know how to do. +.+

You never know how important your message was to me. Even though it was less than 10 words.

This is the second consecutive week a farmer had commented that i dun know enough. Am i that lousy? Maybe i expect too much, but I never feel so down my whole life. I couldn't hide my disappointment anymore I teared on the way out. I always excel in the things I do, except now. And the worse thing is, I tried really hard. It made me doubt my abilities!!!! I am tired of the never ending work and effort I need to put in. Suan le la! >.<

it is not anyone's fault. i am the fault. i am lousy. :(((

Didnt go for pss lecture today. Down with fever. and i jus slept for 12 hours! I know it was coming, cause yesterday I got stomachache that feel like pancreatitis and I was burping nonstop. And the damn irritating headache. Actually I been popping panadol these few days too, sigh. :( Thanks fang for helping me sign.

Anyway, I am gg to give myself a break today even though i got so much things to do! The tot of that makes me sick again.

Met up with jw and fel yesterday for dinner. Simple and nice, ate ice cream too! ice cream makes me happy! And city hall change too much over the last few mths! Nowadays, I only got to monitor the progress at the circle line at kent ridge and the construction site at BV. ARGH.

Was told that the assignment we handed in previous day was lousy. Well well, I think pre-reg are always thought to be so smart that they know everything already. But if we are so smart, we wont be suffering for these 9 mths. Pre-reg is supposed to be a time for us to make mistakes and make from it right. It was a painful lesson learnt, cause we chionged like mad in the afternoon to rectify the mistake. D was in painful deep shit the whole afternoon. And my stomach hurt like crazy that time thanks to the crisis.

I am so glad I am going OP soon sometimes. Cause i suddenly feel so jaded and I hope I can find back my drive in OP. And I believe I can do so. :D

Jay choy is no longer No.1 in taiwan for cd sales anymore, replaced by that irritating pig. UNEXPLAINABLE MAN. DAMN.

i have this terrible headache following me this week and have not been sleeping well thanks to my runny nose. Feeling very terrible cause i feel really lousy with the medicine and i have to walk all over the place for tpn rounds. feel really horrible cause i cant rest at all. i hate all this cause i cant function as i sleep the moment i reach home. my lab attachment is duper not productive and i got scolded today for not knowing enough.

the thing is, i feel very lonely sometimes cause i cant tell anyone how i feel. nobody is free or will listen anyway. when i am not feeling well, or even when i feel very stressed, i dont know who to confide in. I feel i am fighting the pre-reg war alone and sometimes i really feel like 9 mths is enough.

Hello, am back and doing well! At lab these few days and rather boring. -.- Readings after readings, sometimes i don't even know if i know i am reading. Anyway, my PMS emo period is over and now I am very happy once again hee!

I got a christmas present today! First one! Now I gonna waste time doing that puzzle. ^.^

My new laptop ... trying to figure out how to use msn 2010. I know how to appear online to some people, but then how to appear offline to that person again ar? I am an idiot right. LOL.

Babe is here to join me this week at work. Too bad she is not at lab today, otherwise we can make cream tgt. Making cream is damn tiring, and can only make 10 percent excess. Almost dun have enough at the end! it is a pity we cant go work or go home tgt, but at least now she knows my eye candy in the hospital. >.<>

OH YAH, needs a menpa gathering soon! Too nwa to plan sometimes, but I will ya!

Sometimes I am really scared of talking about the past. I am glad I managed to open up abit today. Thank you for asking.

cramps this afternoon was so painful i feel tears in my eyes. )))):

and so much work to do. and i dun like to do. and i feel so tired the last few days i slept at 11 cause it was the time of the mth! I woke up at 5am in shock the last 2 nights cause i haven read my enteral nutrition notes! Sigh sigh sigh i cant do it. i cant do it. i cant do it.